This Poem Has No Title.

I just don't know what's wrong with me, or why I always fail.
If they imprisoned men for losing, then I would be in jail.

There was a time when I was a winner, and people thought I ruled.
Like that time in 3rd Grade when I sang Ghostbusters in school.

I reached my peak a long time ago, when I was too young.
I thought I had more songs to sing, but I guess they've all been sung.

I almost won recently, but then I went and blew it.
I was on top again for about a month, but it was over before I knew it.

I thought that I was doing well, that I could make it work.
But my Angels lost and my Demons won, now all I have is hurt.

I have things to keep me distracted, like some kick ass Star Wars stuff.
But they can't plug that hole in my soul, so it's just not enough.

I sometimes feel trapped and lost in my worlds of fantasy.
Because I want something more, and I yearn to be free.

But reality offers no rewards, only truth and pain.
It might be better to stay lost, if it means keeping sane.

I used to shine so brightly, when I was known for laughter and song.
But the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

How fragile is that flame that burns to light each passing day?
I feel mine flickering in the night, and I fear it will go away.

A Manly Poem About A Manly Man - Ron F**king Swanson!!!

Here is a man we must respect, the great Ron Swanson.
The manliest man to walk this Earth since the late Charles Bronson.

He'll fight government bureaucracy, and kick it's lame ass.

With his ice cold eyes and bad ass mustache.

If the State tries to make changes, he will always resist them.
While searching for new forms of Meat Delivery Systems.

Men should follow his diet of steak, pancakes and bacon.
And reclaim the manly power that many have forsaken.

If someone needs an ass whooping, he's ready to deliver.
But he also has a softer side, when he plays sax as Duke Silver.

If you follow his teachings, it will improve your life.

But don't you ever cross him, or he will have your wife.

A Great Poem About A Great Actor: Mr. Bill Murray.

I don't have much time, I'm in a hurray.
So here's a few words about Mr. Bill Murray.

I first saw SNL when I was only 2.
He was making people laugh, and that's what I wanted to do.

The next time I saw him was in Caddyshack.
My little stomach got upset from the laughter attack.

Stripes is also great, one of his signature roles.
I also like that movie 'cause I want to bang P.J. Soles.

When Ghostbusters hit, then he totally ruled.
I performed the theme song in a talent show at school.

I'm just being honest, I'm not being rude.
But I really didn't get too much out of Scrooged.

I didn't see him much after that, with one exception.
That was Ghostbusters II, which was pretty good, upon reflection.

It changed my life when I finally saw Rushmore.
I saw and ACTOR, not a comedian, with new worlds to explore.

Then I sat down and watched Groundhog Day.
His existential conundrum really blew me away.

He should have got an Oscar when he played Steve Zissou.
If you don't like Life Aquatic, then hey, dude, fuck you!

He has a style of comedy that I can understand.
And I always love it when he appears on David Letterman.

Now I must split, and if you wonder what I'm thinkin'.

Ghostbusters is on AMC, and I never miss Peter Venkman!!!

A Poem Simply Entitled...BETRAYAL.

To show no regard for the feelings of another.
To spit in the face of a man you called "brother."
This is an act of Betrayal.

To think only of yourself and what you need.
To not care if your actions make another man bleed.
This is an act of Inhumanity.

To avoid someone and not look them in the eye.

To offer no apology and to not even try.

This is an act of Cowardice.

To spew empty words and offer false sincerity.
To pose and pretend with no sense of clarity.
These are the actions of a Liar.


People like this can't connect and relate.
It strikes me as sad, so I can't really hate.
'Cause that's just part of who I am.

People like this will just end up alone.
No family, no friends, and no place to call home.
A complete lack of empathy that I can't understand.

I would even forgive him, if he apologized.
Life is too short to let disharmony thrive.
I'd look him in the eye and offer my hand.

It's easy to be mean and act petty and small.
It takes courage to be kind, and I have to stand tall.
And those are the actions of a Man.

A Poem That Celebrates The Badassness Of My Missile Firing Boba Fett Figure

See him flyin' through the sky.
Know now that you're gonna die.
No time left to wonder why.
No time left to beg and cry.

See him there flyin' higher.
Never slows, never tires.
Agent of the Galactic Empire.
Last thing you see 'fore you expire.

See him now flyin' faster.

Dealin' death with his blaster.

Bounty huntin' & killin' master.
All your dreams end in disaster.

He's Missile Firin' Boba Fett!
So bad ass you can't forget!
Cross his path, you will regret!

MISSLE FIRIN' BOBA FETT!!!!!!

A Brutally Honest Poem That Reveals A Sad Truth

This poem was written under the influence of  Billy Joel's Glass Houses...

I almost married a girl who looked like Kim Basinger.
Over ten years later, my pain still lingers.

I'm like any other dude, I want a hot chick.
But I don't want a crazy girl who'll make my heart sick.

And that's what she did, she just messed with my head.
She hurt me 'til the point that I wished I was dead.

But the worst part was, she broke me forever.
Will I ever be right again? Probably never.

It can ruin your life, having a girl that's hot.
It sets a high standard, and you can't be with one who's not.

I know that's a shallow statement, but for me it's true.
I can't score another one, so I don't know what to do.

I saw her just recently, and she still looked good.
If I said I wanted her back, I think that she would.

Many would say, “You're crazy, what would you do that for?”
The answer is real simple: “I don't want to be alone anymore.”

I can't take it no more, and I know this sounds real sad.
But nobody else will have me, so what choice do I have?

A Doggone Poem About My Dog, Cooter Junior

I had a dog named Cooter,
but he passed away.

I wasn't sad for long,
because his son appeared one day.

Junior might not be his son,
he might be Cooter reincarnated.

Either way this little dog
needs to be decaffeinated.

He's wild & crazy, running around,
begging for attention.

He'll leave home and not come back,
so I keep him in detention.

He likes to sleep on rocks,
and he's always acting loopy.

Sometimes he'll sleep on top of his house,
that's right, just like Snoopy.

He likes to tear stuff up,
he's always up to no good.

He'll sit and stare for hours
at the mystery in my woods.

He's always acting rude & crude,
and he has no class.

I love the little monky,
even though he's a pain in the ass.

Just in case you're wondering,
I'll go ahead and answer.

Both dogs were named for the mechanic
that helped the Dukes Of Hazzard.