A Sensitive Poem About A Sensitive Subject - Scarlett Johansson's Divorce.

My darling Scarlett, I'm sorry you're getting divorced.
But I know someone else who loves you - it's ME, of course!

If you were my special lady, I'd always treat you right.
I'd never leave you to cry in a lonely bed at night.

I wouldn't play any games or talk any jive.
And I love it when you host Saturday Night Live.

I know there's an age gap, I don't care that you're young.
Your hips were made for child rearin', and I'll give you some sons.

And here's some news that will make you real glad:
You can still keep acting, I'll be a stay at home dad.

You've got movie star money, so I wouldn't have to work.
I'll be a great husband and father, I would NEVER be a jerk.

So don't be upset, and don't you despair.

'Cause I'm ready to love you, and I really care.