About who's the King of Bad Ass, and who ultimately ain't.
From Star Wars, Captain Han Solo, of the Millennium Falcon.
From Firefly, Captain Reynolds, whose first name is Malcolm.
Both have kick ass guns, both are really funny.
Both are good at fightin' and mackin' on space honeys.
Han Solo fought The Empire, and gave 'em lots of Hell.
But Mal fought Space Yankees, with a proud Rebel Yell.
Han's only crew was Chewbacca, and that's not a lot.
Mal had 4 dudes + 4 chicks, and all them chicks were hot.
Serenity was old and creaky, salvaged from a wreck.
The Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
Mal had some cool threads, including his Browncoat.
But nothing is fucking cooler than Han's ESB blue coat.
Mal beat The Alliance by making The 'Verse aware.
Han defeated The Empire with help from goddamn Care Bears.
Ewoks? Really? In disgust I hand my head.
Ewoks are a dealbreaker, and with that I say, 'Nuff Said!
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