Dark Rhymes For Dark Times

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

 

How many times must I hear it said

before I accept the truth?

That I am just not good enough

and there's nothing I can do.

I first heard it back in high school

and it devastated me then.

Because deep down, somehow I knew,

that I'd hear it again and again.

I've heard it said so many times

that by now I have lost count

I wish I could change and make myself matter,

but I just don't know how.

I really don't want to change,

I'm happy with how I am.

But how I am ain't workin'

so I need a change of plan.

I've tried to change my looks

and change my way of thinking.

I try to keep my head above water,

but still I feel I'm sinking.

You can say I'm being foolish,

that I've just got the blues.

But you'd be sayin' different

if you walked a mile in my shoes.

Cause it's like an itch you just can't scratch,

and a feelin' you just can't shake.

And it's getting' to the point

where it's more than I can take.

But I've no desire to end it all,

I doubt even Death would have me.

So I'll just keep on livin' and

hopin' that someone will understand me.

IT'S NOT HARD

 

It's hard to be unwanted

and it's hard to be unloved.

It's hard to get back up

when all you get from life is shoved.

It's hard to lose your heart

to someone who doesn't give a shit.

It's hard to try and love again

and not give in and quit.

It's hard to see your childhood friends,

grown-up and happily married.

It's hard not to feel you've failed

and that your life is buried.

It's hard not to sit and sulk

and wallow in you hate.

It's hard not to curse the “gods”

who consigned you to this fate.

It's hard not to be cut and wounded

when others ignore your words.

It's hard not to feel

that life is a toilet filled with turds.

But it's not hard for me

to see through the pain and darkness.

I have dreams and drive and power,

that I've yet to harness.

It's not hard for me

to clear my head and realize.

That it's better to say I've failed

than to have never even tried.

It's not hard for me

to reconcile my hurt and cope.

Cause I'm still alive and kickin'

and where there's life, there's hope.