Dear George Lucas,
I'm writing you this poem.
To ask you very nicely to
leave Star Wars alone.
Don't you understand we fans
just want to love you?
But when you rape our childhoods
all we want to do is shove you.
When you change these films
you're committing cinematic murder.
Every time they come back out
we pray you haven't altered them further.
You think you're making them better,
but you're just making them worse.
Vader shouldn't scream NOOO!
and Han should always shoot first!
I know you own these films
and you can do just as you please.
Like re-release them endlessly
to feed your Empire's greed.
But you could make a ton of money
if you restored the original versions.
And silence the cries and screams of all
the geeks and nerds and virgins.
I'll ask you one more time,
before I have to go.
Don't make a Special Ed. Vader
who likes to scream out NO!
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